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Name: June
Country: China
State: hong kong
Birthday: 6/4/1987
Gender: Female


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Member Since: 8/19/2004

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Sunday, March 01, 2009


Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Personal Daily Horoscope of Wednesday, 11 February 2009
for June, born 6 April 1987
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Rigidity spells defeat***
Valid during many months: At this time your ideas and plans may be defeated, or they may have their greatest concrete realization. In either case, you will run into considerable resistance from others to what you say. This may result in severing relationships with those who disagree with you because there is no longer any communication between you. Or it may result simply in the breakdown of communication that was once quite good.

Other people's resistance to your thinking is not intended solely to defeat you, although you may think so. You may be tempted to give up if you are not secure in your thinking and plans. But the resistance of others also forces you to give your plans clearer form and to take definite steps to implement them. This takes hard work and much heavy thinking, but the results can be quite good.

If your ideas cannot withstand the challenge or you do not have enough confidence to defend them, this is likely to be a time of self-doubt and questioning. You will seek to find out what is wrong with your ideas, and if you can be sufficiently detached, you may indeed find out what is wrong. But if you just wallow in guilt, doubt and "being wrong," you will accomplish little except to become depressed.

Although this is not an especially easy time, you shouldn't take a negative or pessimistic view of matters. There are concrete challenges to be met, and you should use your energy to recognize and meet them. Negative thinking is a form of self-indulgence that you cannot afford at this time.

One factor of this influence may be causing you problems. If you have already allowed your thinking to become too rigid and fixed, you will find it difficult to make occasional necessary compromises when you are challenged. Even with the best ideas, a certain amount of mental flexibility is necessary. Rigidity is almost certain to spell defeat, because the forces that oppose you will become equally unbending and rigid.


Friday, January 30, 2009


Wednesday, January 07, 2009

當有一位朋友跟我說他有了精神病


 

曾經有一位朋友跟我說,他患了精神病的其中一種──憂慮症。無論在人前還是人後,我都會避開這個稱呼。這不是出於禮貌或者避諱,是因為我不接受這個標籤。當一個人被界定_患上了_精神上_情緒上的_病時,彷彿_他是無緣無故地,個腦突然間生化不平衡,於是做出所有事,細至與自己不同的行徑、大至傷害自己都可理解成理所當然地不正常,因為他患有這個「病」!

 

想到漫畫中的戀愛喉擒症、因戀愛而併發的憂慮症,懶惰得不能自救症等的笑話,在精神病學的語境下,突然變得恐怖無比。怎麼一個人不開心,會成了一種病,名為憂鬱症?有藥食了就會好?

 

當一個人生活得不開心。

 

當一個人在現在的教育制度下,不理解所要背的資料有何意義、每天生活都塞滿補習、溫習強記,還有生活中以各種各樣形式出現且無孔不入的暗示!暗示可以是人的片言隻字如老師同學父母甚至補習廣告分享、可以是地理環境氛圍如學校、甚至是整個體制。

 

連續受著兩年、他的心可能敏感一點,不像其他人麻木、懂得不問情由地接受。他不開心,他的大腦生化可能真的因每天的非人生活而不平衡,所積累壓抑的情緒會在一兩個關節口溢出──以一個我們想像以外的形式表現。這只是「例如」的其中一種,假設還如此粗疏,但這些可以簡單地判別為某人自__患了精神病嗎?一個人憂鬱去到那一個臨界點成了憂鬱症?甚麼事可以憂傷以及憂傷的方法和程度,這可是對生命的理解的問題啊!人的生活和情感是醫生可以或者是有能力處理的範圍嗎?

 

醫生有藥可以開,於是成了他們可以管的事?精神科的邏輯是,因為你的腦袋生化不平衡,致使你情緒低落,才有自殺念頭,用藥物則可以改逆調節。可是,精神科藥物是十分危險的。有不少抗抑鬱藥是同時治療狂躁和精神錯亂,所以會致使病情轉為狂躁抑鬱症。又例如SSRI 類的抗鬱藥如Seroxat是會致癮,而減少劑量期間會讓人焦慮、不安至萌生自殺念頭!(這些藥品和一般毒品的界定分别只在於服用者不會渴求更大的劑量、服用更大的劑量亦不會讓服用者帶來快感。)

 

究竟抗抑鬱藥是如何「治療」精神病呢?SSRI 類型抗抑鬱藥物的運作是延緩血清素於腦中自然回收,以滞留血清素於腦中,令人變得呆滯遲鈍沒有反應,於是有「穩定情緒」的功用。

用藥來處理精神問題,基本上視人的身體和情感為一埋化學物質的組成,但當這些藥服用時令人呆滯來穩定情緒、副作用多不稱數、減藥時有脫癮徵狀、病發、甚麼萌生自殺念頭,這已不是治標不治本的問題了。回到最開初的話題,當一個人因生活的種種不開心,於是腦的生化不平衡了,抽開了生活的問題而用藥改變腦的生化,結果藥真的令他__的身體不平衡起來了,那時候重回生活的問題、從情感的疏解入手也怕不能了。

 

我回答不了是否完全不能用藥的問題,只見到精神病藥物的危險以及界定病患的朦糊和權力問題。當精神和情緒問題成為一門專科、並有其精神病藥時,便把我們的朋友分割開來,彷彿他去了一個與我們無關,也不容我們置喙的世界,讓我們忘記了一個人的身體和情感狀態與生活和社會的關係。

 

究竟他的生活有沒有空間喘息?

去一趙旅行,暫時放下壓肩的責任,做一些體力勞動讓身體舒展一下會否好些?究竟他極力頑抗但解決不了的問題是甚麼?

可否有一個完全空閒的下午或晚上,慢慢地聽他說、一同思考、整理他積壓的問題。

問題可能與社會和制度有關,例如社會對於易服的歧視,可否跟他一同想考如何反抗?


刊於中大學生報一月號

列於哀痛之難之後



當寫到最後,已覺得十分沉重。

寫完之後,不時想起最後一段的反問。

這些是我沒有做到的!

想到這裡就覺得很難過。昨天回了一封電郵今天不斷地聽my little airport的<see u there> 和<悲傷的採購>後尤甚。

第一稿時,我不懂得寫結尾,因為我根本不知道可以做甚麼。旭雯的評論是很無力。到寫的時候終於才在討論中知道了一點。




 


Sunday, November 30, 2008

A delicate equilibrium**
During this time you may try to assert your individuality in a relationship. Sometimes this occurs when you feel that you are giving too much in a relationship and getting too little. Or the situation can be the exact opposite; that is, you have been giving too little, and your partner is resentful. Any successful relationship, especially a sexual one, is a delicate balance between the needs and desires of each person as an individual ego and their desire to achieve meaning through a relationship. The equilibrium is very delicate and easily upset now. At this time the two of you have to define what you want from each other. It is sometimes necessary to be quite explicit about what you want, because whatever is left unsaid may very well be the main source of conflict between you.



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